Ché L'écossais

How to sculpt a Eunuch.

2010-06-18T13:10:00.003+01:00

Don't worry, no rusty blades are involved...

Start with the default sphere, like this :

Make something like this -

Play with the tools until you have something like this :

add copious amounts of fat : voilà !

You can get this amazing freeware program here.

3.5 megabytes. You will need a serious PC.

Have fun.

A picture of a tennis racket.

2010-03-26T17:03:00.003+01:00

I think I handled the "sweaty" tape around the grip very well.

By the way - the joke is on YOU.

Here's one I did earlier.

2010-03-12T16:27:00.004+01:00

Using an online doodling application.
I love it - it just seems to work.

I'm thinking Sarkozy - with that insufferable smug half-smile he puts on everytime he wants to act all post-ironic and meta-clever, and other neo-logisms with a dash involved.
Or maybe it's the local Greek Sandwich tycoon - which is all you need to know (about Sarkozy).

http://www.zefrank.com/scribbler/scribblertoo/

If y'all want to give it a go yersel'.

Narcissus

2010-03-02T17:20:00.004+01:00

It's just me admiring myself.

With Photoshop.

I did try to embeautify, but there was a bug...

(I'm not embeautifiable).

EDIT.
I got a very irrate, not to say outright rude, letter from A. Schmuck of the Schmuck, Vetburger and Frietjes cabinet of lawyers delivered today.
Acting on behalf of a "Disnae Wine Buff", they complained that I failed to credit the above photo.
Somehow they worked out that I didn't take it myself.
Clever people, these ambulance-chasers. And very hungry.

So, the above photograph is copyright "Dafney Van Gogh" 2010, in all dominions of the King and beyond. Even, but not limited to, the ends of the earth.
The creative commons license does not apply.

This is true...

2010-03-01T01:01:00.006+01:00

...only if you were the male lead in a 1980's medical soap.

Bankers Bonus

2009-11-27T18:44:00.004+01:00

Bankers paying themselves bonii - like giving oneself sexii - five-fingered-widow stylii.

In the mean time, here's a picture of the people who pay the motherfucking bill.

Blah blah New Picture

2009-07-15T15:16:00.003+01:00

Self portrait. 9th Century Celtic style. With a chinese style sig.

2009-06-20T15:05:00.007+01:00

Painter, Photoshop, too much time to kill, and a mouse.
I'm not actually this good looking.

Nurse says I must take my meds now.

Woo Hoo

2009-06-09T15:32:00.002+01:00

Some kind of bogeyman, wearing trainers, in some kind of Hell.
Looks very Web 2.0, if you ask me.

Washing clothes.

2009-05-21T16:55:00.004+01:00

This is how I do it - no, really : I wash most of my stuff by hand.
Got into the habit when I was living in a kind-of squat, it has a nice zen vibe to it.

2009-04-21T13:09:00.004+01:00

Beautiful woman.
Oil Pastels, difficult to work with, but well worth the effort.

The pastels, not the woman. Heh.

I think she used to sing with Portishead or summat - anyway, disnae matter, she is gorgeous.

Pretend surprised.

2009-03-21T15:29:00.005+01:00

Wrapping paper, acrylics and varnish.
(The varnish darkens the paper, and brings out the white. It's a magical process)

I got a lot of mileage out of that piece of wrapping paper.

3d.

2009-03-10T16:57:00.010+01:00

Lots of different paints and inks on an inside out cereal packet (probably).

Robert Del Naja. A.k.a. "3d"
From my "copy everything Anton Corbijn has ever done" days.

West Coast

2009-02-17T16:41:00.007+01:00

Pencil, paper and paint. Pretty traditional media there.

Some arrogant West-Coast rapper from the 90's. With a mullet.
Does anyone recognise him ? Ice something or other.

Father and child.

2009-02-11T02:58:00.006+01:00

Ink pen, brush and water. 1990.

Kinda looks like the East-African father of a future United States President, but I do tend to let my imagination run away with me.

(In 1990, when I did this, Obama was editor of the Harvard Law Review. I'd never heard of the guy - but then, neither had you.)

Phillippe O'Sphere

2009-02-06T14:05:00.004+01:00

Looking vaguely into the distance, wi'that L'Oreal "je le vaux bien" windswept look - it's a French philosopher !

Happy Devil.

2009-01-27T23:37:00.008+01:00

Cheap wrapping paper, acrylics, diluted wood varnish.

Here's a devil I did way back when.
I've miraculously been sent some of my old stuff that I thought lost forever.
So I'll be posting some of it here.

Edit : it's Irvine Welsh. With Horns.

Tiger for Arthur

2008-06-21T20:25:00.007+01:00

Cheap wax crayons on crappy printer paper.

Back by popular demand.
Well, Tom, if you must know.
When are you going to reactivate your own, excellent, blog, Tom ?

Anyroad, this is a tiger I drew to amuse a ketje.

Noël, Noël.

2007-12-17T20:04:00.002+01:00

Pencil, paper, coffee Noël Coward, looking fabulous.

We All Have Bad Days

2007-12-15T20:18:00.000+01:00

Pencil, paper, Flash for vectorising.

It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it...

2007-12-11T17:14:00.002+01:00

Marker, various inkpens, wax-crayon, coffee, coloured pencils and photoshop, for the sig. Guy Verhofstadt, ruthless, schizoid dictator of Belgium.

Ugly

2007-12-05T16:20:00.001+01:00

Pentel, felt-tip pen, another beer-coaster."Ugly ? Beautiful ? Who can say ?"
If you say it in the manner of that ditzy secretary out of AbFab, it can be moderately comical.

Scrumpy, saving the planet.

2007-12-03T21:56:00.001+01:00

Pencil, pen, beercoaster.
One tree at a time. Or fox.

Note that the sign-staff is made of dead tree.

Boots are made of renewable roadkill, hand-stitched with biological hemp by-product from his friend, Dave.

Leather coat from Creutzfeldt-Jakob of Chelsea.

Jeans were found in a bin behind the Salvation Army.

Underwear is models own.

Hair by Phi-Phi Starchild, in that manky squat in Brighton.

Make-Up by BioKill Research and Development Laboratories, Cute Kittens Departement, Screaming Monkey Lane, Cambridge, UK.

Smoking accessory kindly provided by Dave.

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